FINALLY!!!! THE TURD HAS COME BACK TO XANGA. Welcome to the blog that is served with cornbread on the side, It is yours truly, The Nazi Negro, The King of Con, The Prime Minister of Poonani, The Cotton Pickin', Tongue-Flickin', Fried Chicken, Snikuz Stickin' SON OF A BLACK ARMENIAN BITCH...........Turd.

WHALE, it's been awhile since yours truly has blessed you all with a Xanga entry. I sincerely apologise......for not making you niggas wait longer. Okay, so what has happened since I last updated....hmmm......went to the talent show....sucked ass.......San Diego trip.......interesting and I'll touch on it sometime in June, when I graduated.........

I finally got the new Audi up n running, but it has a few nagging problems, dents, and a busted CD changer. To be honest, I'd rather change the factory Audi cassette player and put in a new CD player. It's like the Audi equivalent of the Mercedes S-Class and it has lots of room, which I like. Hopefully, I'll have an SUV or a Jeep by the end of this year.

Colleges I've been accepted to so far:

- Cal State Fullerton

- Cal State LA

- Cal State Northridge

- UC Riverside

- San Diego State

- UC Santa Cruz

- Cal State Long Beach

Rejections:

- UCLA

- UC Santa Barbara

- UC Davis

- UC San Diego

You may have rejected me now, niggaz, but you can't keep me out of UCLA or UCSB forever...muhahahahahhaa. So I'll most likely stick to CSUN as my college home until I transfer. Hell, It's better than Glendale Community or Pasadena Community. Nothing against the people attending those schools, but I don't feel like continuing what seems like another year of high school.

Now let's focus on what I really wanted to talk about. Lately, the homosexual community has been under the magnafying glass of society. Now I want to exclude all lesbians from what I am about to say.

The reasons are:

a) I'm not a chick so I can't fully understand why lesbians are lesbians

b) I believe every woman is a lesbian....I'll explain this on a later date

c) All straight guys think lesbians are awesome, so I would, of course, be bias.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way, my main focus will be on hmm.....what's the proper terminology.....fudgepackers......no.....ass pirates.....nah.....faggots.....OH WAIT I KNOW.....homosexual males. Unlike lesbians, those motherfuckers are disgusting. Now all straight guys must pose this question: "How can any man be attracted to another man?"

I used to think this all the time and before, I could not find any reason why a man could be gay. But then there was that faithful day in Mr. Jones Economics class. I remember it as if it were yesterday. He began to talk about a concept called "Diminishing Marginal Utility". An example of this is a person that likes cheeseburgers. If you have one cheeseburger, your pretty much satisfied. If you have 10 cheeseburgers at one sitting, you will eventually become fed up with cheeseburgers for a certain amount of time.

Now this concept got me thinking. Is it possible that a man can get sick and tired of poosay? I mean I couldn't imagine this because I haven't been bonbarded with vagina like some famous actor or musician has. But if I were to have an endless supply of poon tang, would I eventually get tired of it and find a substitute. With this, I have come up with a new concept:

Now that I have explained what this concept is all about, I will give you some examples that will cement this idea as solid fact:

Victim #1: George Michael

I remember having a conversation about this guy before during lunch. This man was adored by millions upon millions of men. He was a sex symbol to them all. Let's face it, this dude back in the 80's could get any chick to spread her legs at the snap of his fingers. But what happened? The guy became a faggot. Why? If my concept is correct, he had sex with so many women, that it was no longer satisfying and he had to find a substitute.......which happened to be another mans asshole. Ugh, well here's another example.

Victim #2: Little Richard

This Rock and Roll Hall of Famer was another sex symbol back in the day. Hey, why wouldn't he be: he was talented, he could sing, therefore, women all wanted his Snikuz. Just like Mr. Michael, he soon became tired with pie, and would rather have his shit pushed in by some hairy man. God, even I am having a hard time with my own theory, but you can't deny the facts.

Victim #3: Elton John

He suffered the same fate as Little Richard. Girls would become wet in his presence and he could pick any chick at any time, and he probably did. The dude was even married at one time. But then he had too much he could handle, and before you know it, he becomes a platinum member at his local bathhouse. It's a damn shame.....But the next victim is completely throws off my theory.

Victim #4: Carl Winslow

Ah yes, the lovable father from the sitcom Family Matters. So wholesome and loving hard-working dad, like the typical red-blooded American family. One problem though, once he left the Family Matters set, he got it up the colo by his butt buddy. When I first found out about this, it broke my heart. Carl Winslow was like a second father to me, and it was like a crushing blow to find out my TV faja liked to be tea-bagged on the weekends. Now how could a wholesome man do such things. He had wonderful children, and a beautiful.....wife? Wait a minute, his wife was far from beautiful. She was the hardest lookin bitch I've ever seen. At times, I wondered if she was really a cross dressing male. Look at her:

That isn't any ordinary chick. Which explains why Mr Winslow was gay, his wife was a fuckin man all along. Go figure. It has nothing to do with my theory, but hell, it was an added bonus.

Now in review, it has been said that too much of anything can be bad, even if it's pussy. This is why you must keep a well maintained balance of the stuff or eventually you will turn to the darkside. Let this be a lesson to us all.

"Til Death Do Us Part" by Cypress Hill. Just listen to it, its a kickass song. Okay, I've written way too much, but I owe it to all of my Turdaholics out there.

Later